*total total surrender surrender

by leyla daze

/
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about

❤ surrendered with deep love for all beings ❤

credits

released November 22, 2019

additional synths by Charlie Epstein
backing vocals on flountain, LA by Heather Mulligan
mastering on greylaw hiveless by Josh Shirt in Fort Collins, Colorado
vocals on golden forest recorded in a pit toilet somewhere in northern Nevada

the following humans are responsible for my joy, and therefore this album:

Charlie Epstein, Sharon Goeller, Tom Goeller, Anneli Goeller, & Tom Dash. Feather Bear Kohn, Janey Lovechild, Xia Spiritbeing & Dreamers. Writer's Block poetry tribe in Boulder, Colorado. The PDX lovers, the JT lovers, the NYC lovers, and all the lovers in between.

Hypercore19 Records, Joshua Tree, CA

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all rights reserved

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leyla daze Boulder, Colorado

future psych dreamtime.

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Track Name: my mind
my mind
let it go
i'm trying...
let it go!

i specialize in
letting go.
Track Name: golden forest
oh witch is the center
of the soul of the city
how the fuck we get there
if we're beaten down?

look at all the treasures
look they're gold crystal pretty
girl you gotta wander through this white tile town.

ducking under branches
to the wet thick forest
find a sick skull
and we set the scene

if you cross your eyes
turn your head the slightest...
all the moss is purple but you think it's green
all the moss is purple but you think it's green.
it's green!

further up we trip
through the gold striped pathwaze
rustle up a sluggie
and we slurp him down

even if you scream
get a gem
get a slime daze

girl you gotta wander through this white tile town.
girl you gotta wander through this white tile town.

let's plant a golden forest
and trip through the great
domain

will you be guardian for us
we'll never come home again.
we'll never come home again.
we'll never come home
again...


coda:

i try
to make my way back from the forest every night
and i find you there

oh i try
to make my way back from the forest every night
and i find you there

i try

to make my way back from the forest every night
and i find you there...

oh i try
to make my way back from the forest every night
and i find you there...

and i find you there
and i find you there
and i find you there...

air.
Track Name: all i want for wishlist
body autonomy
naked green neoteny
several fine lovers locked in sexual astronomy
women to be grosser than the dirty man boy
and a fresh sex toy

for my rhythm to be school for you
for my breath to suck truth
men to fear her
to be queerer than the weirdest curved mirror
men to hear her

hot consensual sodomy
like pegasus's progeny
space to fill your body
like a minigolf monopoly

pony boy slave
beg that mom be gay for you
i'm the bitch that's made for you
we'll groove but i will slay for you
we'll groove but i will slay for you...

yeah--
ecstatic avenger
take a great big plunger to it
i'm through it and you're through my mind
like a deep deep deep dark peace pipe.

a conscience that is ripe and glazed
sequence of relaxing days
to be steeped in
candy queer fluorescent ways

to be greased in it
to be greased in you
cause all i want for wishlist is goo

all i want for wishlist is goo
all i want on you is goo

all i want is...
Track Name: bottle whore blower
you're coming to the back now baby
with the light
and the right time

you're trying to find out now baby
what is right
what is right?

and i want to want to know
and i want to want to go
oh oh...

goodnight
goodnight.

and i want to want to go
and i want to want to go

ooh goodnight
goodnight!

when it's all...

when it's all over
and done
when it's all over
it's done.

when it's all over
and done
when it's all over
it's all
over and done.

it's all over
it's all over
it's all...
Track Name: beastow, LA
sad boy
i sad boy

fire it around
fire it around yeah
oh fire it around

i said boy.

i'm in LA and it's not okay to take it
i'm in LA and it's not okay to take it
said i'm in LA and it's not okay to take it!
yeah i'm in LA and it's not okay to take it...

they wanna take it from you boy.

they wanna take your freedom away
they wanna take your sanity away
they try to take your money away
they wanna take your humility away now

they wanna take your family away
they try to take your worries away (nice)
they wanna take your humanity away
they wanna take your autonomy away...

so why are
you gonna take it from them boy?
Track Name: you bells
a millen- a millen- a millen- a millen--

faith
got then to be
faith
got then to be
faith
got then to be
shamanism.
then to be...

a millen- a millen- a millen- a millen--

if it's
if it's...
Track Name: chupabanga dik stuck
ghosty
divide my body
so that the me that is dream
that is dream that is me
can be split
for your consumption

there's a
tiger in the water beside me
me whose dream a being
she can't get to
can't

a mind
who roils inside
who cannot hide
she cannot get to I!

unfit for friend
and fit for crowd

and fit for
a crowd to be bowing to me.

you get to get to get to get to
use me to see.

you get to get to get to get to
use me to
get you out.
Track Name: i'm tired, joshua
oh
i...

i...
am

tired.
tired.
tired.

hey
tired.

hey
tired.

hey!
Track Name: flountain, LA
i'm losing my mind!
before it's time!
daddy and brother wanna
they wanna tell me i'm fine

BUT
i don't know what's real
i don't know what's mine
i don't know what's there
and i don't know it's time

I DON'T KNOW
I DON'T KNOW.

sunwater.
hive mind.
and sunwater.
hive mind.
and safety gems

i'm losing my mind!
before it's time!
daddy and brother wanna
they wanna tell me i'm fine...

BUT
i don't know what's real
i don't know what's mine
i don't know what's theirs
and i don't know it's time

I DON'T KNOW
I DON'T KNOW!

i don't know...
i don't know...
i don't know...

sunwater. hive mind.
and safety gems.
Track Name: greylaw hiveless
when i see them talkin to their friends
on the hell phone
one two three twelve times today

i slime inside the static of the flicker
of the TV apartment
only to find that you're already dead

that's when I stalk the vein
of the backstreet
pull my coat and i dip my head
synthetic

you could save worlds
with the pattern on the carpet
but i look into your heart and i find you're dead.

yeah you are
you are dead
yeah you are
you are dead.
dead, dead.

ooh i'm trippin' up the backside headless
way down to the stair
she's gone proper with the wings of the reckless
(turn that BPM to double)

so you think i wanna be with people
to be hiveless is to free, yeah!
to be free can get lonely with the options
keep on down to the deep deep darkness.

i'm gifted those i love oh
i'm strength for open land
it's realer out in the middle
the spirit's in your hand
the spirit's in your hand

go into the darkness
ain't nobody there.

ain't nobody there
ain't nobody there

you wanted to see me
go into the darkness...
ain't nobody there.
Track Name: unicorn processing center (mlam'z song)
first i'll go walking
then i'll go wading
in the tall grass
in the waves there ooh

first i go walking
then i go wading
in the tall tall tall tall tall grass
chicka chee chee ah.

ahh ooohhh
ee chee ah

haaaaa
chee chee ah...

first i'll go wading
then i'll go walking
in the tall grass
in the waves there ooh.

first i go walking
then i go wading
in the tall tall tall tall tall grass
chicka chee chee ah

then after the first cold shocks
then i'll dive under.
a ten ten ten ten foot wave...

and there
silence.
Track Name: man with a gun
slipped inside a bottle
to see what i could see
the feeling that they wanted
simply wasn't me.

i press into me
why you press into me
oh why

i used to walk in the forest
before the man with the gun

i used to walk in the forest
before the world was done

out of the mist
came a man
a man with a gun...

and up from the land came
a woman.

a woman...
she was done.

a woman...
ohhh she was!

she was.

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